Daddy's, Daughter's, and a new Sister

Wow! What a weekend.  We have been on the move this weekend and multi-tasking is not even the word for what we have done just this weekend.  Let's start with Daughter.

Well much of you know my oldest is turning 10. Yep, the big double digits.  This blessed event is technically July 3rd but with Mom and Dad 1/2 way across the world trying to bring baby brother home on that day we chose to go on and celebrate this weekend.  She was keenly aware that this could happen and though we prayed that it wouldn't, God had another plan.  Since His plan is a much grander and more perfect plan we made lemonade out of our problem. Well actually, we made mani-pedi's, shopping, lunch more shopping and tons of fun. See yesterday Rin got together and did her birthday big girl tween style.

We started off the morning meeting up with 2 of her friends to do a little shopping.

  (look at her smile! She was about to explode with excitement)
Then we headed on over to get our nails did.

 (the girls received a lot of attention here and all of them loved it)

Then a yummy lunch at KOBE.

There might have been some food flicking across the table into someone's bowl and it might or might not have been me who flicked it.

(if you haven't taken this chick out to lunch you should.  I do not exaggerate when I tell you she had the attention of the whole table.  Here let me give you a topic: livestock at the Smalley Farm)

Then more shopping and more fun. 

Now let me get a little sappy.  We had so much fun and my little girl had a BLAST!  Most of it was because of these friends of hers.  They didn't do anything but treat her like they themselves wanted to be treated and let me tell you when you live a life in a body that doesn't function the way everyone Else's does relationships like this are critical.  She felt normal, she felt 10, she felt like for that day Rett Syndrome was not even on the radar.  I know that because you could see it in her eyes and her smile.  If you don't believe me then the next time you see her ask her a about it. 

Daddy's

Happy Father's Day!! Man "o" man am I thankful for Father's.  The father of my children rocks my world and not just because he is hot.

  He brings joy to my heart.  I love how is so completely different from me.  He is my stabilizer.  He is calm in the storm. His feathers do not ruffle easily and he is very laid back.  While I work at 90 miles a minute he is more like 30 miles an HOUR.  He dreams of having lots of land, sarcasm is his favorite type of humor, he is smart in business and not in pop culture.  He can be very serious but he can be very funny when he is around his very close friends.  He takes being the leader of our family even more seriously.  He desires to love me like Christ loved the church and to lead his house to serve the Lord.  I am so thankful that his hearts desire is to point our children to our Heavenly Father daily.

 My earthly father taught me so much about life and who I feel I share many personality traits.  Some of the first words that come to mind are hardworking, perseverance, loud, sacrifice, extreme, passionate.  His hands bare the work of years and years of hard work and the scars of a serious burn while he worked in the coal mines 7 days a week for most of childhood.  He also found time (how I still don't know) to take us fishing, showed us how to play baseball (which resulted in tons of broken windows), football, whistle like a boy (which I might add that out of all of my brothers I am the only one who mastered), and took us camping (let me add that it was in tents and we were always allowed to take a friend 2 adults + 4 kids + 3 friends= fun chaos). I don't think I would be as willing to take on the things that God asks me to do if it wasn't for watching my Daddy push himself ALWAYS! 

My father-in-law is pretty awesome and completely different.  We share a birthday but he is not loud, or extreme.  He is quiet and gentle in spirit but passionate about his family and always willing to do whatever needs to be done for you.  The word dependable doesn't even begin to explain this man's heart to serve his family.  I am so thankful God put him here to remind me of His dependability and that He is ALWAYS HERE.

So for Father's everywhere I pray you will search out the Heavenly Father and make him your example.  I am so amazed by the men in my life and thankful that they are the ones that I have to help point me to my Heavenly Father.

A New Sister;

Today was also a big day for our family because we celebrated Elaina's decision to give her life to God.  About 2 months ago she and I had several conversations about making God lord and saviour of your life and I knew she and God had some talking to do.  Several weeks later in church she lend over to tell me she was ready to make a public provision of her faith.  I was slightly stunned and asked that she wait until we could tell her Daddy.  That night she told E and they talked, then we spent several weeks talking to our pastoral staff.  Last Sunday Elaina made her decision public in front of the church body.  This Sunday she followed with believers Baptism.  I am overwhelmed with joy as I now get to call my daughter my sister in Christ.  There is no greater joy.

With family here to see her baptism and we decided to celebrate 3 events.  Father's, Korinna's Birthday and Elaina's Baptism.  We didn't go all out like we normally do because well frankly I just didn't have the time. But, we shared a meal, we ate cake, we sang, and we had gifts.  It was nice, it was wonderful and I am blessed.

 

Stop back by tomorrow for our finalized schedule for our trip to China!

 

Our Attachment Plan

As we plan for this very exciting trip we are about to embark on we are also planning on a very important transition in our son's life.  That is where our Attachment Plan comes in.
If you are new to the adoption world the use of this word my be new to you. If you have biological children attachment/bonding happens naturally with your biological children. In our adoptive child it is something that we will work for and something that we already pray about.
We have read books, articles and blogs.  We have gone to seminars, talked to friends and listened to professionals.  Forming a secure attachment to us is critical to Joel's development, well being, healing and growth in our family.  “Secure attachment helps children learn to believe that they are lovable, that trust in parents is wise, and that others will help them when they have needs.” (from the book Attachment in Adoption).  There are several situations that can cause a child to lose attachment:

Separation from parents through foster care moves

Adoption after attachment to another parent figure

Prenatal exposure to drugs and alcohol

Sexual abuse, physical abuse and domestic violence

Mental illness of a parent figure

Orphanage care

Hospitalization of parent or child

Neglect

We don’t know all of our little boy's story, but we do know that he has had several experience in his short life that has puts him at risk for attachment issues.  For this reason, we will be establishing a plan that will help us help him….This is our Attachment Plan

(I would like to give credit and thanks to Anna Dreyfus for allowing us to copy and modify her plan):

• We will not be welcoming outside visitors into our home for the first few weeks.
•  Ethan and I will be the only one to hold Joel for the first 6 weeks. 
• We will carry him in a sling or front carrier, as much as possible during the day.
• It is important that Ethan and I are the only ones to care for his basic needs….feeding, changing, bathing, and putting to sleep. 
•  During his wakeful hours, we will not be answering the phone or be on the computer. 
•  We are going to do our best to keep our family together as much as possible. We aren’t exactly sure what this looks like.  Due to our family dynamics (i.e. Korinna's care, extra curricular activities).
•  Joel will sleep with us in our room for the first few weeks. 
•  We will respond to every cry he makes and not let him “cry it out".
•  For the first few weeks, we will keep his world calm and simple.  We will not bombard him with a lot of new toys, but will spend time in interactive play (nursery rhymes, finger plays, etc.)
• We will keep Joel at home for the first few weeks, except for critical appointments and doctors’ visit.
• We do not plan on putting him in the church nursery.  He will stay in the church service with us.
• We will establish a healthy routine for him, so that he will feel “at home” more quickly.
• We DO plan on inviting friends and family to the airport when we return from China.  However, he will remain in his carrier the entire time, because we know it will be very overwhelming for him.

We recognize that so many of you are excited about him joining our family.  I also know that it is very hard to fall in love with this little guy and then be told that you have to wait to hold and love on him.  I understand. We want you to be involved in his life.  However, the best way you can show him love in the first few weeks that he is home is by making it easy for us to stick to this plan. 

We hope the beginning attachment process will last about 6 weeks or so.  We can not put a time limit on this because we do not know how he will respond.  We do know that our hearts are so full with love from our heavenly father and we are ready to love Joel as a result of the love we have recieved.

"In love, he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will" (Ephesians 1:4-5)

It was Tuesday

Tuesday, June 5, I knew our case worker was in the office today.  I knew she would call us as soon as she heard and I figured if I was gonna know it would be early in the day.  So I waited.  So I carried my phone with me everywhere I went.  EVERYWHERE!  I even had a dentist appointment had my teeth cleaned with my phone laying in my lap and had warned the dentist that I was waiting on a call and if I received it I would need to take it immediatly.  But, the visit happened with no calls.  Lunch came and went along with zero calls being received.  I knew that if I hadn't heard by 1 that my time had come and gone.  I would wait another day. 

It's at these moments that I have to remind myself that God is the one in control.  I have to focus not on the calling but the the ONE who called me.  With the emotion of this process it easy to lose focus and get so intangled in the emotional rollercoaster, the web of paperwork and the endless steps that need to be done.  On this paticular day I combat my desire to complain and deal with it on my own with singing to God.  What was I singing? I am so glad you asked.  It is a family favorite (E is not included in this love)  by Lecrea

Yes, I love rap, Christian rap

So, I'm singing and I am refocusing because God is enough.  I climb in my car heading out to go pick up my sweet Leila at Rise.  I have accepted this is not the day that we will receive our Travel Approval.  I cling to my knowledge that my God is in control and He is enough.  So I don't mind telling my friends mother that we are still waiting. "Any day," I tell her and it is any day, any minute.  I don't mind telling one of the Mom's in my daughters class that we are plugging away preparing for travel.  It is amazing the peace that I feel.  A complete change from just an hour before.    That is what happens when we,

".....throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles,

and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us"

 Hebrews 12:1.

Then the phone rings.  Right there were I stand with my friend in the hallway outside of  Commons (it is a little indoor play ground).  I look at the phone, what do I behold but that wonderful area code from Portland Oregon. 

My friend asks, "Is this the call!"

Me, "Could be!" "Hello"

T: "Hi Kara, this is T from All God's Children"

Me, "Hi"

T, "I've got some great news. I have received your travel approval"

I have to say that not much of what was said after that did I remember.  I am so thankful that she follows up with an email telling me what to do next.  All I can think about is that I am going to China and I'm getting a baby.  My Baby. 

We are finalizing our plans now and in the next couple of days I will be able to give you my schedule.  I will ask that you guys pray for me and the kiddos.  While we are so excited to finally bring home our little boy we are very sad that we have to leave our babies for such a long time.  When we told them that we were leaving soon several of the kids were very upset.  So if you could help us with preparing them, and lifting them up in prayer we would be so grateful.

Summer Lovin

I thought I would continue with my summer time theme.  Introducing "Summer Lovin" from Grease (the words have been changed to better suit our story)

Summer lovin haven a blast

Summer lovin happen so fast

I've got some girls crazy for me!

Look at this boy cute as can be

Summer days driftin' away, to uh-oh those summer nights

Uh Well-a well-a well-a huh
Tell you more, tell you more
Like do we have Travel Dates?

I wish I did, wish I did

But China doesn't wanna state

Uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh
So we're being creative making new friends

A little sad we won't be seeing the sand

While we pray, for our little man

And waiting for, God's perfect plan

Summer sun, something's begun, but uh-oh those summer nights

Uh well-a well-a well-a huh
Tell you more, tell you more
I hope he loves me at first sight

Tell me more, tell me more
But we're prepared for a fight!

Uh-huh-uh-huh-uh-huh-uh-huh
We've packed up homeschool

And we're tryin to stay cool
With popsicles

The kids play in the pool

Summer things, mean everything, but uh-oh those summer nights

Uh well-a well-a well-a huh
Wish there was more, there was more

But I don't wanna brag

Wish there was more, there was more

But I gotta go play tag

shoo-bop bop, shoo-bop bop, shoo-bop bop,shoo-bop bop, shoo-bop bop, shoo-bop bop, shoo-bop bop, YEH

Gotta wear these kids out, so they'll go to bed

Cause at lights out, there's somethin planned

Sitting on the porch holding his hand

Me and my man, are more than just friends

Oohhh!

Summer heat, boy and girl meet, but uh-oh those summer nights
woo, woo, woo

TMI, TMI

I think E's gonna die

TMI, TMI

Please don't tell him or I'll cry

So it's turned awkward-that's where it ends

But we can all still be friends

Summer dreams are made by all means,

bu-ut oh, those su-ummer nights....

Summertime!

Tonight I am going to bed with the house a mess.  I currently have left over take out boxes laying on the kitchen table with the cups from dinner.  I need to put up the stack of stuff that came out of the car from church but I'm not. I also took a 3 hour nap this afternoon with my little 2 year old.
 I did.

I admit it.

And I liked it. 

Why all of the sudden laziness and relaxation? 

SUMMERTIME!

As of Friday afternnoon I taught my last full day of  Blankenship Academy.  This week we will take several fieldtrips but I am pretty much on the summertime frame of mind.  Ahhhh, I like it. 

Don't worry this is very short lived but it is nice to stop for a day or two and just take in the summertime.  I will pick up tomorrow and I will have a plan of action on the week.  But today, I am taking it slow and chillin out.
So excuse me while I slip on the head phones and go old school with Will Smith!

Mother's Day

I have been emotional this week.  REALLY emotional.  You know the one were you know your husband is thinking "Just when I thought I found the bottom of her crazy I find an underground garage". That is the type of week I have had. 
I have tried to pin point it and I believe it is a combinitation of things.  One I am so ready for summer that I am about to explode but mostly it is my youngest sweet baby boy's Momma.  Not this one but the one who God chose to carry him as God knitted is sweet little body.  The one who lives in a country were abortion is common and could have aborted but didn't.  The one who for reasons I do not know felt like this was the only option.  I am grieving for her. 
I wish I could tell her that I love him.  I wish I could tell her that I am so thankful for her gift.  I wish I could hold her and pray with her.  I wish I could let her know that there is a Heavenly Father who loves her and created her and that she can trust Him. 

April Showers

Apirl 5th, the stress of the any minute call was about to kill me.  Everytime the phone rang I prayed that I would see that 503 area code on my caller ID.  It was Thursday and I knew my case worker was in the office working.  I also knew that this was my last chance at finding out if my LOC had come.  Tomorrow was Good Friday, AGCI would be closed and no work would be done that day.  I knew that if it had not come that night (China's Thursday) then I would have to wait until next Tuesday before I heard anything else from China. 
I decided to jump the gun and sent a quick text to my case worker wishing her a sweet weekend while she celebrated Our Risen Savior.  I also made a remark that I knew this was the last day I could find anything out.
Fifteen minutes later the phone rings and it is that beautiful area code that I have been looking for.  Then I think, "Oh Snap, what if she is just calling to tell me Happy Easter!".  Not that that is bad but my heart was racing and I was waiting with bated breath for the information I needed to press on in the adoption marathon.  I answered the phone and said "T, I hope you are calling for more than a Happy Easter!" She laughs (she is used to me answering my phone in such a manner).  Then with mischief in her voice she answers, "Well I do just happen to have an important piece of paper here." I'm not sure what exactly was said after that I just kept squealing and thanking God.  Thanking for His favor, thanking Him for taking care of this little boy and bringing us to him.  Just SO thankful. 
We then had to talk about all of the work that needed to be done which I only heard about half of it.  Thankfully she always follows up with a very informative email spelling out everything that I should be hearing but can't due to the squealing in my head.
We took the whole next week filing paperwork.  We of course are still trying to expedite, we are still in the air for travel.  Our best quess is 8-12 weeks from LOC.  So we wait and see.  As of this date it would be 4-8 weeks till travel. 

We received this picture 2 weeks after LOC plus a little update.  Our pumpkin is growing and has 2 new teeth.  He looks so good.  It looks like I might have 2 paci babies.  I must make a note to self to stock up on his type of paci while I am in China.  I also must comment on his hair. OH MY!  (Charity if you are reading this get your scissors ready he will have to have a trim when we get him home.  Heehee!)

The celebration of our Risen Savior was so sweet this year.  I have to admit that it suprised me a little bit.  I do better when it is in late March or late April but the early April always messes me up.  Rin was having a little bit of a rough morning thankfully she was able to get it together and enjoy her day.  FYI: This is the first time that she has gotten to pick out her Easter dress and has not been forced to wear something that I chose.

We spent most of the weekend visiting family and Sunday worshiped with our faith family.  It was amazing to see how much has changed in one year.  Last year we were in our old building and this year we are worshiping at a building for another church.  Open Door Baptist has been so kind to let us have our services there.  They have been such a picture of Christ's compassion.  I am so thankful we spent this Easter with them. 

As for our building, demolition was completed the week before the one year anniversary of the horrible tornado.  We will be building back and I look forward to watching us build back and I don't just mean the building but I mean the community.  I can't wait to see us be the hands and feet of Jesus in the community that will surround us.  Big God = Big Things.

I hope to have several short post for you over the next several weeks.  We are working hard trying to wrap up our school year.  We have several end of the year functions happening this month plus we are so close to getting to travel.

Yesterday we received our Approval for our I800 now we go to the Embassey for approval and then as China for travel approval.  I pray I am letting you know were we are and how we are preparing for travel soon.