End of Year

Well, I have been a little MIA these past few months.  We have been really busy.  My feet hit the ground running and the night brings me hope of rest and renewal  for the next day.  This Christmas break I have really tried to stop and review these past couple of months.  I am asking myself how can I simplify? How can I enjoy more and stress less? How can I best serve my family? So that is where I am emotionally.

The other day I was replacing my 2012 calendar with 2013, as I walked it to the trash can I flipped through and noticed that I made a note of every little step we made in the adoption process, and every super big thing the kids accomplished so I turned on my heels and marched that calendar straight to my bedroom and placed it inside Joel's precious memories box. 
Flipping through got me thinking about how much we have done this past year, especially in the past few months that I have not been blogging. So I'm gonna do a slight recap.
 
October was full of running around.  I burned up the streets, running to appointments, lessons, activities therapies and general errands. It was in this month that while loading the dryer it hit me that we were coming up on one year since we had our referral of Joel.  I stood at the counter reading those referrel entries on my blog of our little one and tears just streamed down my face because as I read those entries that little boy was on my hip saying, "Momma", "Momma".  It was beautiful, it was amazing and it was redemption.

referral picture October 2011 and November 2012

November was long, I was starting to feel run down but the excitement of Thanksgiving was uplifting.  I had so much to be thankful for.  We also celebrated one little lady's birthday.  She is the spit fire of the family, full of spunk and a true firecracker.  She says certain words funny like tomorrow is come-Mario and ponytail is panti-tail, bandaid is ban-dan, caterpillar is calir-peeple 

She turned three and wanted a blue birthday party.  That chick is obsessed with the color blue.  So we had blue candied apples, blue tortilla chips, and blue velveet cake.

We had also promised to give her bitty baby twins if she would give up her paci's.  I made this promise in September thinking it was gonna take months to actually succeed in getting her to get rid of her, "precious".  But, I was wrong, a week later they were gone.  (Note to self: be careful about making deals with your children.  Especially if it involves an expensive purchase.) 

We then celebrated Thanksgiving with our families.  This was the first time many of my mother's side met Joel and he was a little overwhelmed and quiet.  He relaxed a little bit when we went to Ethan's mom's house. 

Then on the 29th me and my man celebrated 15 years together.  In those 15 years we have been in 3 states, had  6 moves, 5 children, numerous heart ache, but an abundance of laughter, and love. I couldn't imagine walking this earth these last 5,479 days without him by my side. He is my calm in the storm, my anchor, and he makes me laugh.

We celebrated this event with an evening out together.  Our first full evening out since brining Joel home. He let me get all fancy and took me out to dinner and a show.  Westside story to be exact.  We met up with some friends and it was memorable, to say the least.

December, was a typical wild and crazy month.  It was filled with parties,  a mission trip to Haiti, recitals, advent, cookies, candy, a trip to Mobile, Jesus, Christmas lights, Happy Birthday to Jesus and Happy Birthday to Ethan.

Mobile, AL

 Elaina's recital

Christmas cookies.

Tonight we plan on celebrating Ethan. He is now on his last year in his 30's.  He has planned his evening a nice dinner with friends and I can't wait.  You know when we started 2012 he had never left the country and as we end 2012 he will have traveled to 3 different countries.
 

Mexico in January

 

China in June/July

Haiti in December

So here we are the end of the year and we have been done SO much.  There have been times it has been hectic and I haven't always been patient and kind.  That is something I have learned about myself and that is something that I am bringing to the feet of Jesus this coming year.  But, it has been a joy watching my children grow, a joy watching Joel being grafted into our family, a joy watching my husband's faith grow and a passion for the lost, poverty and the least of these, a joy hearing good news about our sons health, a joy watching Korinna mature and help make decisions on her own healthcare, a joy falling at the feet of Jesus needing Him to feel me with His peace when I am so exhausted and overwhelmed with my job of Mom, a joy being here, serving here, and loving here.  I don't always get it right but I'm learning and I know that God is not finished with me.   

3 months

At this time 3 months ago our sweet little boy was finally put in our arms. I can't believe how far we have come from those first few days and weeks.  So much little personality has blossomed from that little boy.  He continues to show us his tenacity, perseverance and grit.  He is also funny, silly and LOVES his Momma and his YighYah (Josiah). 

He loves any type of bean.  Quickly eats them and then will hand you his plate for you to give him more.  Just know that you don't want to give him beans for lunch and dinner two days in a row unless you are prepared with lots of wipes and diapers. 

 He has crazy hair in the mornings and he likes to wipe his hands off on his hair.  I don't know what to do with these boys.  Josiah likes to wipe his hands off on his shirt.  Ugh! at least Joel's hair doesn't stain.

He didn't come home with a paci but finds Leila's funny.  He has started interacting with her a little more and accepting her as a friend.

 What a long way we have come.  When we first got home he would scream the whole time he was in the car.  It was exhausting.  Now he can turn any round object into a steering wheel and the child's size john deer gator is his favorite.

 This relationship has truly grown leaps and bounds.  I will have to give the credit to Leila.  She has refused to give up and has not been phased by his aloofness while he has started learning who and what is a family. 

And her perseverance has paid off.  Two weeks ago he started hugging her.

We are back in school full swing, as well as all of activities are back in session.  This has been a juggling act for sure.  We are slowly finding our new normal and really enjoying this new little personality in our family.  He keeps us laughing and he keeps us busy. 

We go tomorrow for his heart cath.  This should be a very long day for us and I am already praying for quick, easy and no surprises.  I am also praying that Joel's will be secure with me and not frightened.

8 Years Ago

August 19th 2004, We headed to Children's hospital for another test for Korinna.  She was now 25 months old, still not walking, still not talking and had just had tubes put in her ears for fluid that was so old that it was as thick as Elmer's glue, thus the diagnosis of "Glue Ear".  This test was for a sedated ABR.  We thought we had finally found the answer to her delays.  Korinna wasn't walking because the fluid wasn't allowing her to find her balance and the same with her speech.  So we went in there that day preparing for hearing aids. As we waited for the test results I rubbed my belly while watching my newest bundle of joy jumping in my womb.  I was 3 days past my due date and this was the last test that we had scheduled before planning a "maternity leave". 
While Korinna recovered from her sedation we received her test results.  She was hearing fine! Most parents would have jumped for joy but I was heart broken that our journey was no where near over.  I know for a fact my expression changed and my heart broke a little more.  Of course, you know God has a way of lifting your spirits and filling you with peace.  So we headed home to get ready for a dinner with friends as we celebrated my friends birthday. 
We returned home and I took a little nap with Korinna only I couldn't really relax because I felt that my little bundle of joy and a bundle of contractions.  They were 15 minutes apart and more bothersome than uncomfortable so I got up and trudged away at preparing dinner and getting the house ready.

By 6:00 our friends arrived and we started fixing plates and enjoying dinner while watching our two little ones play in the floor.  We also let them know that I was having contractions but they were only 10 minutes apart.  Now, remember I have unmedicated child birth so I don't freak out.  Also remember, that my friend doesn't have unmedicated child birth and she does freak out.  It was actually kinda fun having her there as I had contractions.  It really helped pass the time. 

At 10 they left both betting on me going to the hospital that night.  By midnight I was hurting pretty bad but my contractions were still only 10 minutes apart.  E was starting to get a little anxious since I could not sleep through them and he wanted to go.  By 1 we were leaving, 2 we dropped Korinna off at my mother's and 3 we were in triage.  Just to let you know I HATE TRIAGE.  They checked me and let me know that I was not that far a long.  I made a mental note that I would never come this early again.  They said if I didn't change in the next 3 hours then they would send me home.  I was furious and E wanted to lay down an take a nap.  I wanted to hit him.  I walked the halls and walked the halls, and watched the monitor and walked the halls.  By 6 I was in a room and we were having a baby.  At this time my totally awesome aunt who was a labor and delivery nurse came in as my nurse (she also delivered Korinna).  She knows how I like to roll and immediately took me off of the monitor and suggested the shower.  Of course because she is awesome she found me a chair to put in the shower and that is were I stayed 15 minutes in the shower with HOT water on my belly and then I would come out get on the monitor for 2 contraction and then back in the shower.  It was E's most boring delivery, it was pre facebook so he sat and watched tv and would yell out "K are you ok? Do you need anything?"  I think he was in heaven actually. 
By 9 am we were getting ready to push.  They coaxed me out of the shower and put me in bed.  By 9:30 I was getting ready and at 10:18 on August 20th I delivered a brand new baby girl 8 lbs 3 oz 19 1/2 inches long.  When I lifted her onto my chest I immediately noticed that her hair was wavy and thought wouldn't it be cool if she had curly hair.  I also noticed how amazing she was, how much I loved her and how happy I was to finally be holding her in my arms.  By 7 pm we had finally chosen a name, Elaina Davis. 

Korinna's first time meeting her baby sister.  I can assure you that this was the most excited she has been for a new sibling.  Each time her reaction gets a little less enthusiastic.

My friends who had come over the day before for dinner came to see her and to hold her.  We celebrated Elaina's birthday and a new friendship that was being grown under my friends ribs.  In 7 months she would welcome her 2nd daughter.  Elaina's friend.

My sweet friend holding Elaina for the first time.  She will kill me for posting this picture and for sharing this little tid bit.  But Oh Well! She was sick, very sick during her pregnancies and this day was no different.  She walked in and said, "Give me that baby so I will remember how worth it this is."  If you know her you know how funny this was and of course holding a baby does remind you of all of your hard work you have had to do on your end and all of the hard work God is doing to get your little one to you. 

Tomorrow my second E will be 8 years old and my- oh- my has my heart wept tonight as I have looked at these baby pictures of you.  You have grown up so much.  You are so mature. You can run this house better than I can.  You have such a compassionate heart and you strive to always do right.  You pride your self on being honest (almost brutally).  You still love the violin though practicing has become less fun.  Reading is an addiction for you and I hope this love continues.  You dream of being a mommy, a teacher at Rise and a violinist.  Your favorite band is Third Day.  You tend to be shy around kids your own age but with grown up you feel at home.  Homeschooling you has been a joy and I look forward to watching you grow. 

I love you little E to the moon and back and God loves you even more.

4 weeks as a Party of 7

**This was originally written the Wednesday before our cardiology visit.  I decided to wait to post until after the appointment.  Of course, you know what happened at the visit so that had to go first.

Well as of today we have been home for 4 weeks.  I have to admit there are times when it seems we have been home forever and then there are times in which it feels like we have been home for only a few short days.

China:
Since coming home I have had time to reflect on my stay in China.  Many people have asked how was China?  Truthfully, I don't think I can give you an accurate discription.  What I experienced was not something that could be catagorized as a vacation.  We were on a mission, a grand adventure but not a vacation.  It would have been great to see more but Joely Poly needed me more.  So this what I do know.

• It is weird and sometimes uncomfrotable to be the only caucasion person around.
• You don't realize how much you enjoy, and use your first admement right of Free Speech.  This affects everything, your internet, books you read, blogs, Facebook. EVERYTHING!!!
• China is big and there are a lot of Chinese people.  This isn't bad it is just a fact. Think of this 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese.  For this little Alabama girl it is a tad bit overwhelming.
• I would love to go back and tour the country side.  Our little fast train to Hengyang City unveiled a beauty that I can't explain.  I would love to go back and see that side of China.
• Whatever your opinion. The majority of the founders of the United States of America were Christians and our government was based on many of their princples.  China well it is not and is not really based on any religion and you can tell.
• When we flew into Changsha we were greeted with a large sign of things that were allowed and not allowed on a flight.  Many of them were due to the spread of Yellow Fever.  Some of the items included; plants, fresh fruit and vegetables, wild animals like snakes, birds and ELEPHANTS.  Yes people elephants! I think it was just something lost in translation but it has been a joke between me and E ever since.  Imagine us packing up in Changsha headed to Guangzhou and saying to one another, "Make sure you leave the elephant behind."  
• I like black tea more than green tea.  
• If you go to China don't be alarmed when they bring you your tea and it looks like it has seaweed floating in it.  That is just the tea leaves (they do not use those little bags or tea balls to hold the tea leaves).  Thankfully E and I are fairly adventrous with our food so we didn't even bat and eye.  If you are you might want to start praying now!  Relax and try as much of it as you can.
• If you are adopting a little one who is walking or crawling or you pack like you are leaving for a year AND you are staying at the Garden Hotel.  Get the suite.  That is the one thing from our visit to Guangzhou we would have changed. 
• I can go about 6 days before I start getting tired of Chinese food. 
• People advertise abortions on the side of buses.
• I love seeing a Chinese woman sporting long hair.  I just wanted to reach out and touch their silky black locks.
• I would visit Hong Kong tomorrow just for the shopping.
• I saw some of the poorest people for the first time in my life.
• I really feel like the Chinese government wants to help find families for the orphans and has a wonderful program (generally speaking)
• It changed me and I would go back.
• E would go back.
• If God doesn't want us to go back then we will encourage others to and advocate for those who can not.
• Air conditioning and heat is not something that is found everywhere. This made me realize I am weak and Rin would only work if she could walk and was visiting in the spring.
• People smoke everywhere.  When we got Changsha people were lighting their cigerettes in the ramp from the plane to the airport.

Those are just a few of the things that I remebered from my trip and the things that stand out over time. 

I love Him with my Whole Heart!

Today was a big day for our family.  It has been 10 months since we first set our eyes on Joel.  Ten months ago that we looked at a little boy who after consultation with a cardiologist was given a "High Risk" label and "very guarded" prognosis.  We had committed to adopting a child with special needs but when you receive a referral it takes the decision to the "next level". It was at this time that Ethan and I had to hold hands and jump into this journey with both feet.  We knew that this was going to be a step of faith and that this was what God wanted for us. It goes against the things of this world.  We were running our family under what we could control and what we could manage and what felt safe to us. Yet, we had been praying for a life yielded to God, one that He would lead and have full control of.  We wanted to be the hands and feet of Jesus but our feet were having problems leaving this ground.  I will never forget those 12 hours after receiving our medical review from the International Adoption Clinic and the consult with a cardiologist.  E had called a trusted friend looking for counsel and that friend gave E verse James 1:5, " If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach and it will be given to him." 
But here is the clencher, the game changer; our friend also told him to not forget to read the next couple of verses. 
"But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind.  For that person must not suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double minded man, unstable in all his ways." James 1:6-8
Wasn't that what we were doing.  On one front we were writing blank checks to God and saying, "Cash it", "We want to do your will." "We want to help the fatherless." "Break our hearts for what breaks Yours." and then when faced with it we stalled.  I'm so thankful that God uses our brothers and sisters in the faith to speak truth to us.  I am so thankful that the Lord spoke through him and reminded us what we had told him we would do.  So as you well know we jumped not knowing the out come, being told that our sons heart condition would shorten his lifespan and we needed to be prepared to be his parents for as long or as short as God had intended for us. We trusted God, we wanted to have Mary's attitude in Luke 1:38. No matter the prognosis we would be willing and we would give our Lord and Savior the glory. Easier said than done...right?
So we fell in love, head over heels in love with this precious angel and we fought to bring him home.

Today was the cardiology visit.  This was the day where we finally got an actual diagnosis (state side), the day that we made a plan and a day were we would for the first time be told what to expect.. The way we felt driving into the doctor visit this morning could best be summed up by the ever quotable Donald  Rumsfield

"There are known knowns; there are things we know that we know.

There are known unknowns; that is to say there are things that, we now know we don't know.

But there are also unknown unknowns – there are things we do not know, we don't know."

Our appointment today started off with an EKG, which he did wonderful in.  I on the other hand was a nervous wreck.  I was so worried that he was gonna freak out and this was going to be stressful for him.  Well let me tell you.  These guys are professionals and this isn't there first rodeo.  Joel did FABULOUS!!

Then we went to get an x-ray.  He didn't like this very much but the nurse told me none of them like this.  Then they put us in a room to wait.  We waited and waited not super long but a little bit longer than I thought we would.  A sweet nurse did come in and tell us how close we were to seeing our physician.  Then the moment came.  They pulled us out of one room and took us to a room with a large ultrasound machine and a EMR set up for the nurse to make notes and print things while the Doctor was there.  She checked his oxygen saturation and then our physician entered and the talk began.  What we knew,  the x-rays the orphanage gave us, looking through the medical records from his last two surgeries and picking out the English we could find.  Then the ultra sound.  Again me nervous and the staff pros.  I sat on the table and layed Joel back on my belly and they gave him his first sucker.  I had the sweetest moment because I got to have an ultrasound of my baby on my belly and see their heart beat on large screens just like my other kids except this time the baby was outside and not inside my belly. I got weepy. Our physician took tons of pictures and talked to himself alot during the ultrasound and I wanted to ask a hundred questions but he politely asked if I would just wait until he looked at everything.  After the ultrasound he sat down and basically said that what he would like to do is tell us everything and then open the floor up for questions at the end.  

This is what he said in cliff note form:

• He takes his "guarded" prognosis throws it in the trash and puts "positively optimistic" there instead.
• His diagnosis is Double Inlet Left Ventricle with Aortic Hypoplasia (small aortia).
• Similar treatment to the 3 stage surgery treatment as the Hypoplastic Left heart Syndrome (what we were originally thought).
• Joel has what is considered a single pump heart.
• This is a better prognosis due to the strength of the Left Ventricle and how God designed it.  
• Joel seems to have a good pump.
• None of his valves seem to be leaking.
• He doesn't expect Joel to go to the Olympics unless he goes as a ping pong player.
• His friends won't notice that he has a heart defect.
• He can play some intramural sports.
• We should start a college fund for him.
• We will have to do a heart cath for accuracy in the next 6 weeks.
• His next surgery will probably be in the next 6 to 12 months depending on his weight gain.
• His next surgery has a 2% mortality rate.
• He will always have to be under a cardiologists care but he doesn't foresee him being to hindered by it.

 We were excited.  No, elated, blessed, overwhelmed, head spinning, grinning, goofy, excited, overjoyed, amazed, celebrating, high fiveing, joy filled, parents.  We asked our questions and spent a few more minutes with the doctor and then we headed out.  

So we prayed for the best and prepared for the worst.  We got an awesome report for our little guy and given amazing news for the quality and quantity of life he could have.  God provided a physician for us that not only took time with us explaining and drawing pictures for us but also we feel like our personalities work together.  That I think is so important when you are building a team to care for your little one.  We hired him on the spot. 

A friend called us as we were walking out of the office.  In fact the same friend that shared the James 1:5-8 verse.  We were a little giddy as we walked and talked back to the car.  I left the parking lot crying and putting on one of my favorite songs that I have in my adoption play list (though I think I am going to change it to my, it's-hard-to-be-a-mommy-and-christian-this-life-is-a-battle-and-I-am-a-warrior play list)

I was singing at the top of my lungs, dancing and my sweet, calm husband sat in deep thought.  I turned the music down and asked him if he could believe the morning we had. All he could say is, "I'm so glad we didn't say no."

Let me stop and say though we were given a better prognosis for our child no matter what we heard we would have given God All the Glory and praised His holy name.  That is our goal in our daily lives.  We accepted something else but God revealed to us another plan for Joel's life.  We are excited and thankful that our child was given a good report today and we are so happy for him.  Because this little guy brings joy to my heart.  I love his little personality, I love his dark eyes, I love his silky hair, I love his laugh, raspy voice, little teeth.  I love how he points me back to our Heavenly Father every single day.

House keeping

I know many of you are wanting to know how we are doing and I promise I will get there.  I first had to do a little house keeping.  I have gone back and added pictures and some "reflections" to the posts that we wrote while in China.  Blogging was a little difficult for us especially in Changsha so I had to cut a lot of the pictures that I wanted to post. 
I have also had time to stop and reflect and remember key things that I have gone back and added.
These will be in italics and usually in noted as a Reflection.  So make sure you go back and take a look at the added stuff.
I hate to leave you with out a few pictures since we have been home so here ya go.

I love watching them play together.

He can be a picky eater but Doughnuts are a favorite

This is what it looks like in our car.  That's a bunch of kids!

Sweet Home Alabama

This will be short.

(Reflecting: I took Joel a change of clothes.  The purpose was for me to be able to change him in the Detroit airport.  Well before we left the tarmac Joel decided to pee through his clothes and all over me.  It was a bit of a nightmare.  E washed out Joel's pants in the bathroom and we hung them up to dry on the magazine pocket.  I  used a wipe on my dress.  More to make it smell better than getting anything off.  I also put a blanket under my dress on my lap so that I wouldn't have to feel the wet fabric on me.  I also never put him back in my lap with out another blankent on my lap.)
It took a 2 hour van ride, a 14 hour flight, another 1 hour 26 minute flight and then a 1 hour drive to get us home.  Joel did fabulous he only slept a total of 4 hours they whole time but never really cried.  He was very content and snacked a lot.  We arrived yesterday at 4:30 in Birmingham with lots of great friends there to meet us
.

 

The ride home was a little interesting since everyone was upset because they didn't get to sit next to Joel.  Well Korinna didn't cry because she did get to sit by Joel.  That is the rule Korinna is the oldest so she gets to be the baby buddy. 
When we returned home the three of us were exhausted and it was all we could do to stay awake until the other guys got into bed.  Finally at 9:45 I climbed into my own bed.  E and Joel had already fallen to sleep and frankly I had as well, I had fallen asleep with Leila in her bed.  Elaina woke me up to help her get a drink.  After that I left her reading in her bed.  I don't know what time she feel asleep. 
Thankfully we are home and all of my chicks are in my nest.  I couldn't be happier.  Now if I could just get rid of the jet lag.