(Video from the fast train. Look at the beauty of rural China)
But that doesn't mean I don't have anything to say. Oh no, you didn't think you were gonna get off that easily without me sharing my thoughts about something. Let me tell you today is a culmination of many things in my life. Almost 2 years ago I took a bold step in my prayer life and started praying to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ to "break my heart with the things that break His". This was powerful and scary prayer and I have lost many hours of sleep with breaking for the very things that break His heart. Part of that process lead me to this adoption. I could tell you more about my experience but I think it would be better to tell you of someone elses story. We will call her Beautiful. Beautiful was adopted this week and was from the same orphanage as our son. She is 4 years old. She was abandoned at 3. She couldn't walk when she was abandoned but while at the orphanage she was given a walker and low and behold she walked into the Civil Affairs office to meet her forever family. When the orphange people went to hand her over and leave she fell apart. I don't mean cry. I mean kicking and screaming and flailing around. Trying to get away from these people. Can you imagine what was going through her mind. NOT AGAIN!!!! If she would have the use of explitives that is exactly what it would have been. The parents just smiled at each other. They were prepared for this. The grief. But can you imagine this little one and the pain and agony she felt. I saw this scene taking place but I had another job that needed to done and I tucked it away to be dealt with later. Joel needed to come first.
Today when I went to the orphanage and saw what I saw the scene of this past Monday with Beautiful in the Civil Affairs office came running back to the for front of my mind. I have to tell you I'm mad. I'm emotional. I want to know WHY aren't more people moving. I am not saying run out and adopt a child but have you asked what can I do? Have you asked God how do you want me be a part of caring for widows and orphans? If you are a believer in the Lord Jesus Christ and you haven't asked these questions let me remind you that we are commanded to do so. Not everyone is called to adopt a child but every believer can take part in ministering to the helpless. After what I saw today I pray that I am forever changed and my priorities will be different. I had a Schindler's List experience. Just like the scene at the end were Liam Neeson's character starts ranting about that if he would sold his ring he might have been able to save one more. Well I'm there. These kids need families. These kids need love. My little boy was loved and cared for beyond my wildest dreams but having a the love of a mother and father is what's needed in these children lives.
Here is what i want you to know there are numerous things you can do to live out Gods command to help the fatherless and the destitute (many of these kids who have been abondoned because the parents were destitute.) Dont be afraid to trust your heavenly father, it may seem to hard of or big a task but with the power that can resurrect Christ can enable us to do great things for His glory. Consider this you may can give emotional support to adoptive parents, start or join a support group for Adoptive Families, financially give to a Christian ministry supporting an orphan or financially give to a family who is willing to make an orphan a son/daughter(Ethan and I did not have the money it takes to do what we have done but God has used people to enable us financially!). Support a family when they first return home from bringing home their new little one, like bringing them a lasagna (totally holding Tammy S. to this) or offering to help out with errands, household chores and supplies. There are a many ways to help. Just ask Him which one. I promise it is better to walk in His will than in your own. Let's go back to Beautiful. She did not know that two people were adopting her and about to love her extravagantly, who want to make her heirs to their family she only saw her current state of familiar being disrupted and didnt want to chance that something may be better in store for her. Don't we do the same thing. We literally try to fight off God's better plan (and even God himself) because we don't want to or are afraid to let go of our old and comfrotable self. So I challenge you to step out of your comfort zone. I challenge you to seek out your Creator and see what He has to say (in the Bible).
This journey hasn't been easy. In fact it has been hard. One of the hardest things we have done. It is ranked up there with Korinna and the journey to her diagnosis but just like with Korinna and her diagnosis and the daily battle and struggle it is to parent a special needs child it is worth it. Really worth it.
Thank you for sharing everything that you are processing and experiencing! We have gotten 'caught up' in the everyday and I needed a reminder of the call God has put on our lives.
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